Marauding Around
by Nessie717
Summary: The Marauders are at it again! Professor McGonagall screeched one day as she raced out the castle doors.This is a mischievous tale of a couple 6th year Gryffindors who are out to get a Slytherin, Snivellus, and a certain Redhead's heart. A J and L Story.
1. Snivelly Experements and OWLS

Hi!

This is my first story on So I'm rather nervous!!

My story line takes place right after that scene in the pensieve with Snape...

My first chapter of this story is kind of like a trial run. If I approve, most of my other chapters will be much longer...

Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: Nothing but the story line belongs to me. Characters, Location, all JKR. The excerpt in italics is from HP and the OOTP and is Definitely not mine...Although I wish it was..!!

_There was another flash of light, and Snape was once again hanging upside down in the air._

"_Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?"_

Chapter 1.

There was altogether sounds of disgust and cheering from the students gathered around the Great Lake, as the group of girls by the bank sat up and put their socks and shoes back on. Grabbing their things, they stalked off in the direction Lily disappeared to, some giving sidelong glances of disappointment and longing at Sirius and James.

"That is Quite Enough, Mr. Potter! Mr. Black" Screeched a much younger Minerva McGonagall. Her appearance much younger, with red hair tied loosely in a bun behind her head. Only a few gray hairs on her head from stress and the frown lines and worry wrinkles seemed to only be forming at the present time.

"Professor! They...They!!" Snape snarled, as he was swiftly dropped onto the ground, landing with a dull thud.

"Ah! Minerva! Come to watch my most excellent spell casting, I presume! Sirius said casually, as if talking to an old friend.

"Mr. Black, How Dare you address me in such a manner!! I've told you time and time again that I am to be addressed as _a Professor. _What do you think you're doing to Mr. Snape?? On behalf of the Headmaster, I demand an explanation!!" McGonagall said loudly.

"Professor, we were merely advising Severus that his robes and undergarments are in need of cleaning." James said innocently.

"Well! I've NEVER seen such inappropriate behavior on Hogwarts grounds! 20Points from Gryfinndor for...for Overexposure of a fellow student! AND detention for the both of you!!" McGonagall lectured. "Mr. Snape, I suggest you pick yourself up, and for Merlin's sake, wash your garments before I alert your head of house!" She added as she swooped away.

James and Sirius sniggered as Snape awkwardly picked himself up and darted towards the castle, glaring at them under the beech tree as he went.

"I've NEVER seen such behavior!" Sirius mimicked.

"Now THAT is a lie. Remember that time when we dunked Snivelly in the lake so he could reintroduce himself with the squid?" James smirked.

Remus nodded.

"Shame, really. They looked like such a swell couple, flailing around in the water together..."

"Not even close" Sirius said. "I'd say that time when-"

"The flying suits of armor display show?" Peter interrupted.

"No, the-"

"That idiotic midnight niffler raid?" Remus asked.

"NO! That one time we-"

"Took all the telescopes from the Astronomy Tower and-"

"Stole all those cauldrons and-"

"Oh" Peter giggled. "Took the frog spawn and-"

"NO!!!!!!!!" Sirius screamed, angry. "That time we...we...Goblin Fingers! I forgot."

"Thank Merlin." Remus said, relieved. "And just in time, too. Transfiguration OWLs, mates."

The other marauders groaned.

"Moony! Do we _have_ to?" Sirius groaned. "My brain hurts and my fingers are numb..."

Remus just glared at the others and began to pick up his things.

" ..and my wand hand hurts from the Snivelly experiment and-" Sirius gasps. " Wormtail! Do my fingers look..._swollen???_"

"Actually, Moony...The exams don't start for another 20 minutes." James said, checking his watch.

"Exactly. I don't want the wobbly desk again. I'm going to get there early." Moony remarked, standing up.

"Jumping House Elves! They _are_ swollen! I guess I'll just go visit the hospital wing and get these checked. Exam stress, you know. It's deadly to handsome devils like me and..."

"Moony, come on. No one's going to be in there yet. You'll have plenty of time to get a non-wobbly desk" James said.

"Oy! This could be _permanent_! What am I going to do?!? No one will ever go to the 6th floor broom closet with me again with fingers like these!" Sirius wailed.

The other marauders turned to Sirius, all with incredulous glances on their faces.

"Padfoot, what are you talking about?"James said, confused.

"Prongsy! Are you saying that you haven't heard a thing about my predicament! Look! My fingers!!"

"Your fingers are fine, Sirius." Remus said, finally ready to leave. "I have no idea what you're babbling about."

"Moony!! Don't leave us alone with him!" James said, frantic. "He's in one of his moods!! Who'll you talk to in there, anyway? No one interesting gets there first, no offense."

"None taken, I think." Remus frowned slightly, not fazed. "I suppose Frank will be in there...Roger Fausit, Margaret Barrings...And Evans, of course."

James eyes widened a bit. In a flash, he had grabbed his things from the ground, sling his bag on his shoulder and stood next to Remus.

"Well, then. No time to lose, Let's Go!" He said, suddenly excited. "See you later, Wormtail, Padfoot!"

Remus and James had about a five second head start before Sirius and Peter noticed they were gone.

"You see, Wormtail, that purply bit by the nail...I think that could be a result of stress. Of course it was caused by Snivellus and those nasty exams and...OY! Prongsy!! MOONY!!!" Sirius yelled across the grounds. "Where are you lot going?!?! Wait for ME!!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Time is UP!" Said Professor Slughorn, rather loudly. "Quills down! I said DOWN, Garrings!! Now sit here quietly while I collect your parchment! _Accio! Accio!_"

"How on earth is this possible? I get here 10 minutes early, and I still get the wobbly desk." Remus grumbled.

"Cheer up, Moony! At least when they see your test, they'll know how smart you are. Although, the squiggly marks from every five seconds when I nudged your chair leg and-" Sirius said, sniggering with Peter.

James seemed oblivious to their conversation.

"Evans! Hey, Evans!"

"Is it humanly possible for you to leave me alone for ten minutes?" Lily remarked coldly.

"Not until you agree to go out with me, Evans. Come on, You know you want to!" James said in what he thought was a seductive voice.

Lily groaned.

"Eat dung, Potter!" She said disgustedly as she stalked away with her friends.

James, dejected, slumped back down into his seat.

"Aw, Prongsy. This is only the...What is it Moony?" Sirius asked.

"Forty-seventh time, I believe." Remus said, thinking.

"Yes! The forty-seventh time she rejected you, and insulted you to match...It's not _that_ bad." Sirius said. "I bet, if you wanted, I could get Alice Kitly to go up to the sixth floor broom closet with you."

"No. I want Evans." James said stubbornly. "Besides, Alice is going out with Frank, remember?"

"Oh...Er..."Sirius said, surprised. "She is?"

Remus looked at him strangely.

"Yes. Sirius, what have you done now?"

"Er, Nothing!" Sirius said guiltily. "Besides, I'll apologize to Frank later. What about...Kelsey Kentworthy?"

"No, Padfoot! I want Evans!" James said, sounding like a two-year old.

"Er...Debbie Hunt?"

"No."

"Carissa Diggs?"

"NO."

"Ooooh."Sirius paused. "What about-"

"Give it a rest, Padfoot." Remus said. "He's depressed enough."

"Yes, Thank you Moony."James said, straightening up. "Let's get out of here before the they make us take more of these wretched exams."

Remus, looking surprised, turned to James.

"Excellent vocabulary, James."

The other marauders looked at Remus with baffled expressions.

Sirius, as always, was the first to speak.

"Moony! I'm shocked! Our boy Prongsy here is Depressed!! And here you are, lecturing him about his vocabulary! Shame upon your family!"

"I'm not!" Remus said, blushing crimson. "I merely said-"

"Yeah. We heard what you said." Peter joined in.

James merely stood there, looking at his friends as if wondering why he even talked to them on a daily basis.

"Moony! I cannot believe my ears! You said that-"

"I said No such thing!! Padfoot, stop this!"

"He he he! Moony, your face!"Peter giggled.

"What are you talking about, Wormtail???"Remus said, his face bright red.

Sirius drowned the rest of them out with a wordless roar.

"There!" He said cheerfully. "Now, I know what we should do to cheer you up, Prongsy, M'Boy!"

The rest of the Marauders shuddered.

"What?" Sirius groaned. "What'd I do now?"

"You sounded like...Slughorn." James said, cringing.

Sirius looked at his friends with one eyebrow raised.

"ANYWAY! I think it's time for a Famous, One of a Kind Marauder Prank! What shall it be, my duckies?! Shall We?!?"

There was silence around the hall.

"My...duckies?"Remus said, appalled.

James and Peter laughed, looking at Remus's face.

"Is that even a proper...anything?"

"...Shut Up, Moony."

And with that, the Marauders walked off discussing their next prank.


	2. Potion Balloons and the Wrath of Evans

**Chapter 2.**

Now, to anyone who hasn't been at Hogwarts for the past six years, this scene would look pretty strange. Four sixteen year old boys, peering around the corner with what appeared to be 20 water balloons floating around them and other people just watching them as they passed.

"I cannot believe I let you drag me along for this." Remus Lupin groaned. "This is absurd! How will you even be able to tell if Snape's coming?"

"It's simple!"Sirius Black cried. "Snivelly walks like this..."

Sirius then began to walk around, stomping his feet and blinking extremely slowly.

"Hey!" A little first year girl said. "You stepped on my shoe!!!"

"Oh. That's nice, young one." Sirius remarked, patting her on the head. "Run along now."

"Padfoot!! You can't say things like that to first years!" Remus said, annoyed. Remus walked over to her.

"Sorry, he lost his brain cells a while ago. Potions accident."

The girl walked away muttering to herself. The words "prat" and "stupidity" were heard as she left.

"Oy! Midget! Get back here!!!" Sirius roared, attempting to race after her.

James Potter and Peter Pettigrew seemed to just watch the rest of them, amused looks on there faces. It seemed as if this happened everyday in their lives.

"Padfoot? Someone's coming!" James said in his best secret agent voice.

"Ooh! Ooh!" Peter giggled, handing Sirius a bright red balloon.

"Excellent." Sirius said, grinning like a madman as he grabbed the balloon. "I can't wait to see Snivelly's face when it-"

"What's in those balloons?" Remus said, finally suspicious.

"Erm...I don't know exactly."

"WHAT? What did you put in them??" Remus said loudly.

"Shh!! Moony, quiet!" Sirius said frantically. "All I did was put some pumpkin juice in these babies with some...some...stuff."

"What _stuff_?"

"Okay! Okay! So I sort of went into Slughorn's storage area and grabbed some green leafy things, a silvery stick and a really, really shiny bottle."

"Padfoot!!" James said, excited. "That's brilliant!"

"He he hee! I know!" Sirius said happily. "Unknown symptoms. I'll bet you three galleons he gets boils."

"Hm.." Peter said thoughtfully. "No, webbed feet."

"It is most definitely Not brilliant! What if there's no cure for this concoction?" Remus said.

James, Sirius and Peter paused.

"Moony's going to win." Sirius said sadly.

"That's no fair!! He won last time!" Peter said, acting like a three year old.

"Sirius!" James said, pointing towards the corridor.

"Oh yeah, right." Sirius said calmly, placing a locator spell on the balloon. Sirius took careful aim and threw the balloon.

Five seconds later.

"Ahhhh!!" screamed a girl's voice.

The boys sat there in horror.

"Padfoot..."James said, wary.

"You got the wrong person!!"squealed Peter, shocked.

"Wait. I know that voice..." Remus said, suddenly scared.

"POTTER!!!!" screamed the girl voice.

"Evans! I-"

James began to poke his head out of the hiding place to see, but Remus pulled him back sharply.

"Cloak! Cloak! Put on the cloak!" Remus said frantically, grabbing at the silvery cloth at their feet.

"Good thinking, Moony!" Sirius said, shivering. "I don't want another Bat-Bogey Hex."

The boys pulled the Invisibility Cloak over their heads, slowly walking around the corner. Standing in the middle of the corridor, was a very mad, very green Lily Evans. Her skin had turned a bright emerald green color and had what looked like a pointy lizard tail sticking out of the back of her skirt. The marauders stood there, stunned with horror. Lily began to slowly shake with anger and screamed out.

"POTTER! I KNOW this is your Doing!! Come Out NOW!!!"

"Psh. No WAY."James said, muttering as he and the others turned slowly and ran towards the tower. Lily, as if knowing where they were heading, followed.

"Come on!"Remus urged. "Faster, Peter!"

Peter gasped for air. "I can't!!"

The boys reached portrait of the Fat Lady, with Lily no where in sight.

"What's the password, Moony!?" James said, scared of Lily's wrath. "I can't remember!"

"Uh, I don't know!"Remus said, thinking.

"Moony! Anytime now!"Sirius said, pretending to check his watch.

"I think it is...um.."

"Nargle."Peter said, matter-of-factly.

The portrait swung open and the boys scrambled inside.

"Pete! I didn't know you could think on your own! Fantastic!"Sirius said in awe.

"Well done, Wormtail."Remus said, sounding proud.

James however, was preoccupied.

"Quick! Get out your History of Magic essays! Seem as if we were doing something."James said, rummaging through his bag.

"Good thinking, Prongsy!"Sirius said, grabbing his own bag. "Wow, we've got our game faces on."

Within minutes, the boys had two tables filled with parchment and discarded quills. Lily stormed in just after.

"So what did you write about the Goblin Rebellion? I don't trust your judgement." Remus said, gesturing at Sirius's paper.

"Moony! I'm shocked! I-"

"There You are!!"Lily said, furious. She grabbed her wand out of her pocket and waved it in their faces. "What did you lot DO?!"

"Evans, My dear! How goes your..er..rather green life?"Sirius said, smiling. "What luck! That lovely tail you've got now matches your temper."

Lily growled, shaking.

"Bat Bogey Hex, Black. _Bat Bogey Hex_."She said, menacing.

"Evans, you look magnificent."James said innocently. "Your skin matches your eyes."

Remus rolled his eyes and went back to his work while Peter just sniggered into his essay.

"Remove it. _Now."_

"Only if you-"James started.

"NO!"Lily screamed. She paused as if thinking.

"Remus, please."She pleaded, changing her approach. "Help me?"

James, furious at the attention she was giving Remus, walked towards her.

"Moony doesn't know how, Evans, but I could probably help you."He added suggestively. "If you need someone to spend the rest of your life with, well..."

"Potter, why"She said, sickly sweet. "Why would I _ever_ want to spend any length of time with you?!"

"Well, because I'm-"

"_Tarantallegra!_"Lily shouted, her wand pointed at James.

James suddenly found himself doing a sort of frenzied tap dance. Sirius and Peter laughed, leaning against each other. Remus looked at Lily in awe.

"Nice, Lily."He managed to get out before chuckling.

"Hey! I'm an innocent victim here!! Don't laugh at me!!" James said, dancing around the table. "Blame Sirius! He put all that icky gross stuff in that balloon!"

Lily looked shocked, and froze for a moment, before turning to Sirius with a menacing look on her face. Sirius unfortunately, did not notice.

"Sirius? Hey, _Buddy_. How you doin' over there? Need anything?" She said, in a sickly sweet voice.

"Nah, I'm okay."Sirius said, taking her seriously. "Oh! What about some of those brownies from the kitchens? Be a sweetie and go fetch some."

"You know what?"She said, pretending to think. "NO! Get off your lazy, _FAT_ arse and get your OWN!"

"Hey! Knife in the Gut!!"

"Well, If the knife fits..."

"Prongs!! She's SCARING ME!!" Sirius wailed.

"You know, Sirius?" Lily said calmly. "You'd look good with short hair, want a trim?"

"NOOOOOO!!! Not the _locks!!!_ ANYTHING but the MY LOCKS!"

"Maybe I'd reconsider, if you just...Hm..."

"WHAT!?!?! ANYTHING!!!! You NAME it, Sistah Friend!!"

"...What?"Lily said, momentarily confused. "Never mind. I don't really want to know what goes on in your head. All I want is to be...let's see...NOT GREEN!"

"Or lizard like." Peter chimed in. Lily just glared in his direction and Peter shriveled down into his chair.

"Oh. Er..Can I rephrase that?" Sirius said nervously. "ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!! You name it! ANYTHING!!!"

"Excuse me, but WHAT?!?!?"Lily said furiously. "Take off the damned spell!!"

"I...erm..can't."Sirius said, shrinking down into his own chair.

"You see, it's not a spell. It's a concoction. 'The Sirius Blend of Happiness', I call it."He said, sounding proud.

"AND there's no remedy."Remus said, popping his head up from his essay. James danced over.

"Why, My love! You're a marvel at potions!!" He said, lovingly. "Why don't you take a crack at it?"

"Because I DON'T WANT TO TAKE A CRACK AT IT!!!"Lily screamed, turning purple.

"...Did you try Madam Pomfrey?" Remus questioned. Lily looked at him as if he had grown bunny ears and a fluffy tail.

"I don't want _anyone_ but you lot to see me like this!!"She screeched. "You have to know SOMETHING!!! You haven't spent 6 years at Hogwarts learning squat!!"

"Well, Wormtail here might be an exception..."Sirius muttered as Peter turned a magenta color.

Lily and Sirius continued to argue and scream. Remus looked at them strangely, as if thinking. Honestly, if anyone was getting them out of this pickle, it was Remus 'Moony' Lupin.

Dropping his quill, he twirled his wand around before pointing it at Lily's face. Scrunching up his face, as if praying this would work, he muttered what seemed like 'Merlin help me' before whispering a spell.

"_Scourgify._"

The whole room seemed to freeze as pink soap bubbles covered Lily's face. She screamed, and wiped her hands on her cheeks. Sure enough, patches of peach colored skin appeared where her hands had been not two seconds ago. Slowly, as the bubbles began to fade, so did the green color. It was only paint.

"Thank Merlin."Remus said, immensely relieved.

"My skin!!" Lily said, amazed.

To the amazement of the room, Lily rushed over to Remus and threw her arms around his neck. Peter looked flabbergasted. James looked angry and jealous as he danced about. Sirius looked, well, like Sirius does at times like these, confused.

"Thank you Remus!!" Lily said, grateful.

"Er...you're welcome?" He said, extremely uncomfortable as he backed away.

"...What about the tail?" Peter said, cautiously.

They all turned to look at Lily's behind. Lily froze again, touching the scaly soft green tail that she could now call her own. Seeming to smoke from her ears, she turned to Sirius.

"When I get back, And I WILL come back, you will wish you had never heard of me. Or DMRO."She said, threateningly.

"What's DMRO?"

"Damaged Male Reproductive Organs."Lily said, emphasizing on each word.

Sirius whimpered, clutching himself, and ran upstairs faster than his feet could carry him. Lily, still fuming, escaped through the portrait hole. Remus, Peter and James all looked around the common room and then at each other, bursting into sniggering fits.

"That was interesting."Remus said, amused, before getting back to his now finished essay.

"Knowing Padfoot, that tail must be plastic."Peter said wondering. They all paused.

"Five Galleons?"

"You're on."

"Hey, um..Moony?"James said, trying to sit onto a chair. "Could you..?"

"Oh. Right."Remus said, muttering the counter jinx.

"Thanks mate."James said, gratefully.


	3. Lost in the Dungeons with Lily

**Disclaimer- 'Harry Potter', sadly, is not mine. The only thing I can say I own right now is Emma.**

Thank you to all my reviewers!!! I'll reply soon!!

-----

**Chapter 3**

**-Lily**

Dear Diary,

I honestly don't get it. It's been what? Six YEARS and he still doesn't get it. James Potter is an arrogant prick who doesn't care about anyone but his trouble making buddies. Oh, no. Sorry. _Marauders_. Do you know I actually looked that word up one summer? Just to see what it really meant. All I came up with was _to make mischief._ Well, they certainly did their research. That sums them up.

Well, except Remus.

He is actually rather sweet. Once you get past the shy exterior and the slightly studious behavior, he is a very kind person. Very Mysterious, though.

VERY mysterious.

Anyway, back on subject here.

James 'Prongs' Potter walks up behind me at breakfast today and whispers "Last night was wonderful, Evans" into my ear.

You know, the Not-Really-Supposed-to-be-a-Secret-Whisper-That-I-Want-EVERYONE-to Hear-On-Purpose kind of whisper.

I, the shocked idiot I am immediately turned crimson and denied it.

It went kind of like this:

"Potter, are you on that muggle drug, Crack?"

"I don't believe so, My Sweet."

"Oh, then are you hungry, Potter? Because I got something for you..."(I shove my fist in his mouth)

"Merlin, Evans!! Save the aggression for tonight! (Obnoxious Prick winks at me)"

Could I have turned any more red? No, I think not.

"You know you looooooove me, Evans" He dares to say in a very loud sing-song voice.

Oh, congratulations. We've now attracted the attention of the whole hall.

"Shove it."

"Now, Evans. Why would I do that when I could do this?"

At this point, I'd had it, Diary. He was verbally harassing me and I have the famous redhead secret weapon. The power of the instant temper. I know, I've used it before.

Before he could get his face within inches of my own, I slapped him, hard, on the cheek.

I slap _hard_. For I am the reining champ defender of the sixth year Gryffindor girls.

"You're not doing anything, Potter."I said in my best high-and-mighty voice and simply walked out.

"Er..EVANS!!! YOU KNOW YOU WANT ME, EVANS!!!"I heard him yell as I walked out.

Wow.

Original.

And Pathetic.

Emma will catch up with me later, anyway.

I really wanted to finish that blueberry tart, too.

Darn.

Oh!

Who's Emma, you ask?

Emma Woods is the best friend a girl could ever have. I think we bonded as first years during a potions class. She is just dreadful at potions and she just so happened to blow a vial to bits by putting her attempt of..well, something inside it. Well, all those glassy bits managed to get all over my right arm. Complete agony, but it was okay. You'd think having someone blow glass at you would cause you to become complete enemies, but it was one of those odd friendship things. Ems must have apologized five Thousand times.

And, well, she bought me chocolate.

How could I resist?

Best friends ever since...

Bollocks.

I took a wrong turn.

You'd think I'd know how to get to Slughorn's office by now, but no.

It's really hard to write and walk at the same time. Plus it makes you look extremely odd.

Whatever.

Everyone knows Potter has pushed me to the edge this morning, so it's okay.

There's that door!

Back in a sec.

**-10 minutes later-**

Okay, who put Sirius's creepy concoction in his pumpkin juice? (It took 3 HOURS to get that gunk-y paint out of my hair. And don't even ASK about the tail.)

Slughorn was unusually cranky this morning. All I wanted was one bloody extra credit assignment since Potter distracted me yesterday. I ended up scorching Margie Bobart's scarf(Again, don't ask.).

It's all Potter's fault.

If he wasn't always...well, Being Potter, I'd be doing splendidly.

All disgust in him aside, he IS rather handsome, but his head is the size of the bloody Squid!

Let me tell you,

That squid is BIG.

I fell in the lake this one time(accident with bread crumbs) and made the mistake of opening my eyes underwater, and WHOAH.

He's a BIG BOY.

Or Squid.

ANYWAY-

There's no denying that Potter is attractive.

Physically attractive to most girls here, but...

That's just not Enough for me, you know, Diary?

I need someone who is going to be here for me, not tell me to quit eating so many blueberry tarts at meals since my butt looks bigger.

Really.

What girl likes to hear that from a guy?

Not _this_ girl.

Okay, How did I manage to get lost Again!?!?

Oh.

Here's the door.

Where is my HEAD today??

**-5 minutes later-**

I hate to tell you, that wasn't the door. I'm still wandering around the dungeons.

Oh, Joy.

Potter.

Of ALL people, why him?

He comes around a corner and jumps.

"Jeez, Evans! Sure know how to scare a guy!" He says, sounding surprised.

..Right.

As if he didn't follow me.

"Sorry, Potter. I didn't-" I stopped. "Wait. Why am I apologizing to you?"

I continue walking. He, being the prick with a rescue complex, follows me.

"Evans, you're not..._lost_, are you?"Potter sounds amused.

"...NO!"

"You _ARE!!!_"He definitely sounds amused now.

I walk faster.

Bollocks!

He doesn't seem affected by the speed.

"..."

"Evans..."

"...I am..SORT OF lost."I grumble. "But I DON'T need YOUR help!"

He chuckles.

CHUCKLES!

At MY misfortunes!!!

...Bastard.

I do delight in slapping him.

"OW!" Potter wails. "You've got to stop that, Evans. It's not nice."

"I don't _want_ to be nice to you, Potter."I say, speeding up around the corner.

Darn.

It's not the door.

"You're going the wrong way."He says, sounding amused again.

Potter has stopped in the middle of the hall, watching me right around the corner.

"I can find the way out of here on my OWN, thank you."I say coldly.

"Uh, no you can't."

"Yes. I CAN."

"...No."

"YES."

'I don't think so, Evans."He says, sniggering. "That's the way towards Slytherin common room."

I stopped.

NO!

I'm WAY too far south.

HOW did I get this far SOUTH!?!?

...I'm totally lost.

"...no."I groan.

Potter, seems to be absolutely giddy at my change of attitude.

"Need help yet, Evans?"

"Er...NO!"I sound unstable, even to myself.

He unfortunately notices.

Bollocks.

Turning, he walks away.

What is he DOING???

He's not going to blackmail me?

Verbally Harass me?

Physically Harass me?

Annoy the heck out of me??

Prank me???

...Whoah.

"You coming, Evans?" He calls over his shoulder.

I, not wanting to be beaten up by a Slytherin punk(not like they Could, but, hey! It could happen!), run after him.

Quietly.

So that he won't notice...much.

**-5 minutes later-**

Bollocks.

He noticed.

Potter turned around. Strangely, his eyes were all soft. Why? Good Merlin, I don't really want to know. Sometimes, he can be really nice, on his own. AND-

He's got _really _nice eyes. They're kind of like a soft hazel color, sometimes a dark brown.

You know, the kind you can feel yourself falling into and getting lost in.

Not like I've been looking, or anything.

Hey, wait.

What's he up to?!??!

I stand there like a brainless carrot top, blinded by the eyes, waiting.

After about five seconds, he just...smiles at me and turns around.

Strange boy.

Oh!

The Door!!!

Love Always,

Lily


	4. Waffles and Alice with Remus

**Disclaimer- All things Harry Potter belong to JKR**

**Author Note:**

**Thank you all SOOOOO much for the reviews!!!**

**I've been having a grand ol' time with the Marauders so far, but...They sure are hard to keep up with!**

**In all honestly, I'm having trouble thinking up pranks worthy of Marauder-ness. Any ideas are MORE than welcome..!**

**Send me your best!!**

Chapter 4

A Moony Chapter.

Remus Lupin was tired.

Well, he was always tired, considering his condition, but this was different.

"Padfoot! Breakfast ends in 15 minutes, and if you think I'm saving you some of those waffles you like again, you're positively insane."Remus said, shaking his friend. Actually, we've got about three hours to eat, but it's always better to think ahead, He thought.

It was early on a Monday morning, so this was typical Sirius Black behavior. Peter rubbed his eyes and yawned, putting on his socks.

"Five more minutes, Moony. Merlin, you're like that muggle contraption. What's it called again?" Sirius whined. "The energizer bunny. You're both furry at times, so we can all see the resemblance."

Remus frowned, checking his watch again. He strolled over towards his own bed. Picking up his bag, he turned back to his sleepy friend.

"Fine. I, the 'energizer bunny' am leaving."Remus walked out the door.

"Thank Merlin."Sirius said, stretching out onto his bed.

Peter looked at Sirius and looked at the door, as if deciding which was more important, friendly loyalty or waffles. He stood up, grabbing his own bag, when Remus walked casually back in.

"Forgot my quill." Remus said, nonchalantly. "And by the way, Padfoot?"

"For the sake of all things magic, What Moony?" Sirius said, sitting up and fuming.

"Frank told me the waffles are excellent today." Remus said, grinning. "I might just eat my fill and...forget to retrieve you some."

"...You wouldn't _dare_, Moony Lupin."

Rushing down the stairway, Remus cackled loudly. To which a certain Sirius Black replied by roaring, leaping out of bed and rushing to put on his shoes.

Remus walked out of Gryffindor Tower with a huge grin on his face. Today was apparently a good day. He only had to push Sirius out of bed twice and bellow at the top of his lungs four times, which was a new record. Remus turned the corner and walked down the flight of stairs. Maybe, just maybe today would be the day.

Alice Kitly.

Alice was a regular at the Hogwart's library. Remus always saw her on Tuesdays and Fridays, huddled in the back corner by the divination section.

The quiet section.

_His_ section.

No one in their right minds visited the Divination Section to actually work. Well, except for Dave Brown. Brown was a nutter anyway, so he didn't really count. The couples who wanted a snogging area didn't count either. To Remus, the library was somewhat of a holy place. If they wanted to suck face, they could skip on up to the Astronomy Tower for all he cared. No one went their either, except for...well.._romantic_ reasons.

What ever happened to learning?

Anyway, Alice and Remus always studied together on those Tuesdays and Fridays. Most of the time, they were the only free time he got from Marauder Madness. James, Peter and Sirius were his mates, but sometimes he just needed some alone time. Time just for school work.

...Yes.

_Just_ for school work.

...Ahem.

Remus walked down an empty corridor, getting closer to the Great Hall. He started to jog, thinking about those waffles. Honestly, they were just bloody amazing. Those house elves had outdone themselves. Remus hummed as he neared the staircase. Sirius should be up and about soon, and Peter was probably already down there. How, Remus did not know, but Peter always managed to beat him downstairs for breakfast. That left one marauder unaccounted for. Where _was _James, anyway? Did he get lost on his way downstairs? For he did do that last week on the way down to-

"Snuff it!!"

"Evans, PLEASE!!!"

Oh.

Never mind. There he is.

Remus looked to his left, intrigued. There inside the deserted Transfiguration classroom, was his friend James Potter. And-surprise, surprise-Lily Evans.

"Potter!! I don't want to hear another WORD out of your Throat!!!"She screeched. "All I wanted was to get down to breakfast in peace and you DRAG me in here and spit out useless-"

"HEY!!!! Useless!?!?"

"What did you call them again? Oh, 'charming words' and all sorts of-"

"That's not nice, Miss. Evans! You owe me an apology."James said, grinning.

"Apology!? APOLOGY!??! You owe ME an apology, you Prick!"

Uh oh, Remus thought. Her face matches her hair now.

"-Dragging me in here and...And...UGH!! Potter!! You're Creepy!"

James stood there, still grinning, Why? Remus does not know.

"You love me, Evans."

"If you would stop trying to woo me I'd-" She stopped. "...WHAT?!!?"

"You looooove me, Evans, don't you" James said, stepping towards her. "Say I'm your number one!"

Lily, it appeared, had nothing to say.

"...Evans? Say something, I mean, I want to share the air that you breathe. You won't-"

"YOU!!! YOU, YOU, YOU IDIOT!!!" Lily, Remus noticed, was now long gone. "Why would you say something like that??!?!?!"

"Because.." James sputtered, scared of her rage now.

Remus walked away, the faster the better. He was no longer safe here, with the famous Evans rage triggered and all. No Marauder in a five meter radius was safe.

"AAAAAARRRRRGHHHHH!!!"

Nope.

Not far away enough.

Remus sprinted down the rest of the corridor. He rushed towards the corner as fast as possible, passing a few bewildered students.

"Who's screaming?"

"...Sounds like Potter molested Evans again."

"Good Merlin, will he ever give up?"

"...nope."

How right they were, Remus thought. He ran around the corner, still in fear of his life. Remus just turned the corner, when BAM! Quills, parchment and ink bottles flew everywhere.

"Oh my! I'm so sorry! I wasn't watching where I was headed." Remus apologized and looked at the other victim. She almost made him drop his books all over again.

"No, Remus. It's okay...No blood, no bruise." Alice laughed, picking up her Muggle Studies text. "So...how are you on this fine morning? Haven't seen you since Friday." Her eyes twinkled.

"I'm fine, I suppose." Remus grinned. Oh, Merlin. Her eyes are gorgeous.

"Well, that's good."She smiled. "You're better than James is going to be in a few minutes. Lily's really fed up today, I hear."

"Is she ever Not fed up with Prongs?"

"...No, but today seems to be a special case." Alice snickered. "Did he say something gooey?"

"Erm, Gooey?"

"You know." Alice said, gesturing with her hands.

"..I don't know what you-" Remus stopped, blushing. "Oh. Well, he said...that he wanted to share the air that she breathes, if that's what you're looking for."

Alice burst out laughing.

"Really!??! Wow. The guts on that guy..."

"I know. Sometimes, I can't believe that I even speak with him..."Remus joked.

"Poor Lily. The things she has to put up with on a Monday morning..."Alice giggled. "Well, I best be off. Don't want to be late."

"Oh! Well, nice speaking with you, Alice." Remus said, smiling. "Be careful walking down that way. Flying debris."

She walked slowly down the hall, laughing all the way. Remus grinned to himself. This isn't a bad morning. Not a bad morning at all.

"She hates me."James grumbled at the breakfast table. "She bloody hates me."

"Prongsy, my boy. She doesn't Hate you." Sirius said, chomping on a waffle. "She...strongly dislikes you."

"And there's a difference?"

"OBVIOUSLY, or the other phrase wouldn't exist, you dolt."

"...Moony. You're more supportive than him." James wailed. "Say something."

Remus paused.

"Erm...Well, at least she didn't...uh...hex you this time." He guessed.

"Moony, that's absolutely Right!!" Prongs leaped off his seat. "She only threatened to dismember me! That MUST be a good sign!"

"..."

"Prongsy, old pal, did she throw anything at you? A bezoar? Or something equally heavy?" Sirius said, curious. "Because I think you've lost it again. AND you got this funny imprint on your forehead."

James touched his head.

"Oh, that's just from last time when she threw a muggle toaster oben at me."

"Where'd she get the oben?"Peter said, excited. "I've been meaning to invest in one, but I can't find one around here..."

"You need to find yourself a girl, Worntail." Sirius murmured. "Toaster obens are...are...well, just not marauderly. You need a more manly muggle-y thing. Moony?"

"...A muggle-y thing, Padfoot?" Remus looked at his friend, bewildered.

"Yes, Moony." Sirius said, as if it was obvious. "You know all about muggles. Pick a manly muggle-y thing. Something that SOUNDS manly."

"...Flashlight?"

"EXACTLY!!! It says 'look at me! I'm flashy!' AND it sounds slightly sexy so the birds'll love it." Sirius shouted.

Peter was in awe.

"Where can I get this..._fwashligh_?"

"For the love of Merlin!!" James cried. "Let's get back to me! My problems!"

"..Nope. Sorry, Prongsy." Sirius said, seriously. "Don't feel like it."

"But you're supposed to be SUPPORTIVE!!" James said, peeved. "You're my mates!!"

"Yes. That's an absolutely spiffy point to make." Sirius said, faking support. "BUT- We're not married."

The marauders fell silent while Sirius continued to eat away at the waffles.

"What does that have to do with the situation?"Remus wondered.

"My dear Moony. It has absolutely nothing to do with anything." Sirius grinned. "It just sounded amusing to say."

Remus rolled his eyes, murmuring while drinking the remains of his pumpkin juice.

"Now, now, Moony-kins. Keep that up and they'll fall out."

"...Shove it."

The marauders continued to argue, not paying full attention to the devastated Frank Longbottom who slumped down next to them.

"Hullo." He said, miserably. "Pass the waffles please, Remus."

Sirius objected to this.

"NOOOO!!!! My precious!!!" Sirius said, grabbing the plate.

"Honestly, Padfoot." Remus sighed, and pried the waffles from his friend. "Here Frank."

James did not seem to care about the goings on of Frank and slumped down into his own seat, pausing to look in Lily's direction every few minutes. He was lost in his own thoughts. Sirius was quite the opposite. His short attention span drifted from the loss of waffles to Frank's apparent woe.

"Yo, Frank-o!!" Sirius said, patting him on the back. "Did those first years hex your undergarments again?"

"...No."

"Steal your shoes?"

"(sigh)...no."

"Mutilate your toad."

"...no." Frank moaned. "It's Alice."

Remus stiffened. Alice? What about Alice?

"Did SHE steal your shoes? Because, honestly, that's kind of awkward." Sirius continued. "She's got her own girly shoes..."

"...She broke it off."

Remus was in shock.

Frank shuffled around in his seat.

"She was just walking to her Muggle Studies class. You know how she likes to get there super early. All I did was offer to carry her books and walk her there, but no. She said that we needed to talk. Apparently, her load is too much for her right now."

"Mate, that's code for 'I'm a lesbian.' "Sirius said, seriously.

"...Not now, Padfoot." Remus said, attempting to comfort Frank.

Alice.

She broke it off. RIGHT after she spoke with me, Remus thought, excited.

...Could it be...?

"She COULDN'T be a Lesbian!!!" Frank cried. "Alice HATES confrontation like that!!!"

James suddenly sat up, eyes wide.

"...Lily likes confrontation." He said. "She always screams at me..right to my face..!"

"Prongs, I doubt it's the same-"Remus started.

"OH MY GOD, PRONGSY!!!" Sirius screeched. "LILY EVANS!!! SHE!!!"

"No!!"Remus said. He was frightened for his life all over again, and it wasn't even time for his first class.

"I'm going to go ask her RIGHT NOW!!!" James raced out of his seat.

"WAIT, PRONGSY!! I'm WITH YOOOU ALL THE WAY!!!" Sirius said, following.

"Erm... ME TOO!!!!" Peter said, trailing behind.

Frank just looked at the others, bewildered.

"What did I say?"

"...Absolutely nothing, Frank." Remus said, sadly. "Blueberry Tart?"

"EVANS!!! HEY EVANS!!!"


	5. Emotional Baggage and Remy with James

**I'm so sorry for the delay! There is just so much going on this time of year, you know? Anyway, Thanks to the people who reviewed! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own even a fraction of Harry Potter's world at the moment.**

**This chapter is dedicated to love-horses, who is the first person ever to put my work on her favorites list. You made my day.**

**Chapter 5**

**–James–**

****

I do NOT have emotional baggage. -JP

_Uh, yes. You do. RL_

What exactly IS emotional baggage in the first place?

_What it sounds like. You, Prongs, have so much in your big head that it must be carried around in the form of baggage._

Oh... NO I DON'T!!!!

**What'cha talking about over here, my brothers? SB**

Nothing, Padfoot. Absolutely NOTHING!!!

_Prongs has emotional baggage._

**Who didn't know that already? Good Merlin, He's got Evans. You need an emotional bulldozer to carry that.**

HEY!!! I don't have her.

_Not meant in the possessive form, Prongs._

Enough with the baggage. What's this thing for, anyway?

_Thing?_

**Yeppers, my boy. Thing??**

This... 'book'.

_It's your journal._

WHAT??? I don't own a journal, Moony. They're girly.

_They most certainly are NOT! You need it._

**I must agree. First, because of your baggage and all. And Second, because it's leg-slapping hilarious.**

"_Leg-Slapping Hilarious"?_

**Yes, Moony!!! You've got my point EXACTLY!!!**

...Right. First, There is NO BAGGAGE. And I see no hilarious aspects in this...thing, my ex-best mate.

**I cannot believe you just said that. After all the things we've BEEN through!?!?!? That is IT!!! We're...THROUGH!!! Watch me...walk AWAY! Really ANGRY LIKE!!!**

_Thank Merlin. I thought he'd never leave._

Nice, Moony. Real Nice.

_I try. Now, get to work. I'll be checking your progress within the hour._

--Gryffindor Common Room--

5:37pm

I don't know what they're talking about.

Emotional Baggage? What is THAT?

Well, whatever it is, I don't have it. Never have. EVER.

So, I don't need this thing.

But...I don't want to have to face the wrath of Moony again. It is a rather scary thing, Let me tell you. This one time, right before the...well..I can't tell you.

Wait-

What am I saying??

You're a _BOOK_.

Of course I can tell you.

Before the full moon a few months ago, Moony wanted me to go and return his watch to the room before we left. I, ever so sadly, could not complete this mission, so I gave it to Padfoot. That alone should have the alarm bells going off in the head, but no. I was a stupid Prongs that night. Who KNOWS what he did with it. Whatever happened to it, happened good. If you get my drift.

It is Still gone.

Moony went BALLISTIC.

Padfoot got the yelling and screaming, but I got the lecture.

In case you did not know, Moony's lectures are the Worst.

It's like an angry mum asking you what you did with your socks, why you did said thing to the socks, and who made you do said thing to socks.

So now you get the picture. I do not understand why-

HEY!!!

I'm not supposed to talk to you in the first place!!!!!!!

You're a _BOOK!!!_

I, James Potter, am going to supper.

Goodbye, you foul...journal, you.

As Moony would say, I daresay we will ever speak again.

--Great Hall--

6:10

Don't look at me like that.

I still hate you. A LOT.

Moony made me take you. He said that I still need you.

Heck, I don't need you.

Psh.

I'm a grown man. With a mighty _fine_ woman at my side.

Well, not at my side. She so wishes she was, though.

You know it. I know it. She knows it. That muggle Richard Simmons knows it. Moony knows it. Padfoot knows it. Wormtail knows it.(I think.)

She SO wants me.

Hang on-

Sirius is talking.

He's been reading over my shoulder!!! ARSE!

Ha. I know you saw that.

Oh. Here he goes-

"Prongs, I thought you needed to discuss IMPORTANT things with that book. Like..I don't know...Your EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE!??!"

"SHHH!!!!!!! Not so LOUD!!" Says I, the most handsome devil ever to exist.

"What, Prongsy??"He says innocently. "You don't want people to know about your EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE!!!"

"What about emotional baggage?"Peter says, interested. Why, I do not know. That boy is weird.

"Oh, well." Remus is saying, chewing/swallowing. "Prongs has it. He needs a way to deal with it all, hense the diary."

"At LEAST make it sound more manly. A Journal, Moony. NOT A DIARY."I am rather offended.

Sheesh. The nerve of these people.

"Oh. Well then."Sirius says, innocently(This is a frightening thing to witness, you must understand, for he is NOT innocent). "Then you wouldn't mind if I tell Evans about your little diary."

I am flabbergasted. (That's a Moony word.)

"You wouldn't."

He simply grins.

"MOONY!!!" I wail. "Tell him that's not Fair!!"

Moony, of course, Is sarcastic.

"Padfoot, kindly do not."

"Only because you asked so nicely, Moony. Or not."Sirius says. "EVANS!!! HEY, EVANS!!! PRONGS HAS SOMETHING HE'D LIKE TO SHOW YOU!! IT'S A MMMFFFFFFGGH!"

I have such _Excellent_ muffling timing.

Although, with a price. My beloved is looking over here with a confused/annoyed look.

I may as well give her something to look at, eh?

"I most definately _have_ got something to show you, Evans."I say, in my smexiest voice. "Shall we say...8 o'clock?"

She merely looks angry.

Darn. I was pretty serious about this one.

"In your ugly, DESPICABLE dream, Potter!!!"

Awww...

She SO loves me.

"I Adore you too, Evans!!"

Who could not love that woman?

"Smooth, Prongs. Real Smooth."Moony says, sounding irritated himself.

" I know. I mean, She's SO GOING to date you now, with your undying words of affection."Sirius points out.

"...Fine. I'm leaving."I say.

"Why?"Peter says, genuinely sounding confused. Weird boy, that one.

"Because..."I stutter. "BECAUSE!"

And I stalk out of the Hall, heading out towards the stairs.

I don't know why they have to bait me like that.

They're SUPPOSED to be my friends.

The Marauders.

We're as good as legends now, with our legendary...legendary-ness.

Thank Merlin. Peace and Quiet. That's all I-

Wait.

That's not what quite sounds like...that sounds like..

EWWWWW!!!!!!

Broom Closet on the second floor.

MUST AVOID AT ALL COSTS, TRUST ME.

It's where Lucius Malfoy and his latest flame go at it.

It is positively NASTY.

Running away now.

I think I'll head down to the kitchens.

The only thing that is not so awesome about leaving the Hall so dramatically, is when you don't finish your dinner.

–The Common Room–

8:26pm

Apparently, I was not the only idea to spend my dinner time in the kitchens.

I walk up to the door, tickle the pear (Which is, honestly, a LOT of fun.) And find this blond girl sitting at the one table(My usual table, might I add.).

This was a very shocking thing to find. When you walk into a specific area and a girl is sitting there. Taken with a certain Lily Evans or not, it is still not something that happens every day, eh?

It is especially shocking since you've never seen said girl before. She's quite the sight, with her muggle clothing.

Usually, we're all decked out in robes and such. This girl has on a green oxford shirt and a few visible silver bangles on her wrists. Around her neck is a necklace with a matching silver heart pendant inscribed with a large letter R. She also has on plain black pants with black Mary Jane shoes. Her wavy brownish red hair is down to her mid-back in a style of light curl which, I know; I've got a young-ish mother, takes a while to perfect magically. When she looks up, I see she has deep blue eyes. Pretty, but not as striking as Evans. She, my Evans, is magnificent.

No indication to what the mystery girl's house is. If she's a Slytherin, I'm leaving in about 60 seconds.

Clock me, Journal.

I stumble into the room with my usual grace and poise. No wonder girls love me.

"Uh...hi." Says I.

"What are you doing here?"She states, accusing me(ME! James Potter! God's gift to women!). "You should be up with the others in the Hall."

"So should you." I say smugly.

"Well, I do not spend time up in the Hall at dinner, so I should not."She says, looking down at her plate.

"No way." I'm SO not buying this girl's alibi.

"Yes, way."

"Who _are_ you?" I'm getting curious now.

"Why is that any of your concern?" She says, irritated.

Is there a theme today with annoyed women? Honestly, I'm not that bad a guy.

I'm like one of those muggle bears.

The...teddies.

"Well, do you know who I am?"I say, imitating the irritated look. Two can play at that game.

"James Potter, 6th Year Gryffindor. You and your pals refer to yourselves as the 'Marauders'. If I recall correctly, you were particularly skilled at Transfiguration and not a lover of the Dark Arts." She says, looking up again with a raised eyebrow.

Okay, James.

So she has a...slight upper hand.

Nothing that can't be reversed.

"Well...aren't you the observant one?" I say, smiling. "Sweet on me?"

"Please. Contain your emotions, for I could not care less about your meaningless accusations." She's scowling again. She's the emotional one. Merlin, woman.

"Okay, okay!"I say, raising my hands in surrender. "Point taken, R."

"..._R _?" She looks at me with confusion.

HA! Finally, a sign of weakness.

"I can be observant too, see?" I say, all proud of myself. "It says so on your necklace."

"That R could have no relation to my first name, you know." The girl says, smirking.

She's got nerve, this one. Taking stabs at my intelligence like that. Only Evans can do such things, and that is just because we care so deeply about each other. Merlin, does this girl not know these things?

"Oh? Please explain."I say, finally sitting down to eat. The house elves had outdone themselves once again. That chicken was excellent

"Well, it could be in reference to a house I could possibly be in, my last name, or a certain significant other I might be involved with." She says, counting each point with her fingers.

Isn't she just...crafty. What a wicked witch this one is.

She doesn't have the upper hand back yet, so Ha.

You're not getting it back, either.

-insert childish face here-

"Really? I don't think so." I say, stabbing my chicken.

"Oh? Enlighten me, Mr. Potter."

Oh sugarfoot. I hoped she wouldn't say that. Think, Prongs, THINK!

"Usually, Girls like you, I'm assuming of course, don't wear silver engraved with such a petty thing as a house or a boy toy. Last names, maybe. But your necklace doesn't look that old to me."

OOOHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Burned!!!

"Touche."She says thoughtfully, as if telling a student they've earned 5 points.

Upper handMine forEVER.

"So...Shall I call you R or No-Name because either way..."I say, chewing and swallowing on chicken. "Heads will turn, trust me. You'll never have to eat in here alone ever again."

"I don't think so. And Remy's fine."She says, turning back to her food. She's got the chicken (You go, girl) and a medley of vegetables (yuck).

"Remy? Remy No-Name?" I say. "Heads will still turn, guaranteed. People are nosy around here."

"Remy Moone. That's spelled M-O-O-N-E. Not Moon, which is a common misconception."

"Oh..Interesting. Pleased to meet you, Remy Moone." I say, extending my hand. "I'm James Potter."

Remy looks at my hand for a second before grinning slightly. I am _good_ with the ladies, I gotta tell you, Journal.

She takes my hand.

"Charmed, I'm sure."

"Uh...okay." I say. "Whatever, Rem-ster."

"...Remy. It's Remy."

"Psh. We're friends now. I can make up weird names for you now." I say, smirking, before drinking from the goblet in front of me.

"Friends ? Who made this initiation? I did not." Remy says, raising that eyebrow again.

"I did, Remy-o. Get used to it."

She responds by rolling her eyes.

What a character this woman is.

I think she'll make an interesting Mini Marauder-in-Training.

Don't you, Journal?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**-Okay, so...**

**Remy?**

**Feedback, please.**

**Sirius is next.**

**What will he, Peter and Remus say about Remy?**

**And...who _is_ Remy?**

**Stay Tuned!**


	6. Diary Stealing and Screaming with Sirius

I'm so sorry I took so long to update!!!

I've had some sort of writer's block and I was an incubus of viral plague, so...

Spiffy, huh?

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.

fairydustandcansofspam, This one's for you.

**Chapter 6**

**Diary Stealing and Screeching with Sirius**

Boy's Dormitory

7:19am

(Why does he date this anyway? Is it so fifty years down the road he'll look at this and say 'Hey! 7:19 at the Boy's Dorm? No Kidding'

Merlin, This journal thing is whacko.)

So I stole Prong's journal.

So what? It doesn't _mean_ anything.

It's not like I made some kind of weird statement, like wearing big frilly robes and telling every person I know that they are back in style.

Now that, would be stupid.

I, Sirius "Padfoot" Black was only curious about what he had written about me.

It may have only been a day since he had this bloody thing, but...

He's become _attached_.

It's like this thing is Evans's double, or something.

...Or is it?

Then it would TOTALLY make sense!!!

You see, Evans's soul is trapped in this journal and my dearest Prongsy is writing back and forth to her evil, EVIL soul. That would at least explain her everyday lack of anything resembling human emotion.

So...yeah.

HEY!

What _has_ he said about me?

Checking...now.

7:23

MOONY!! PRONSY!!

How could you SPEAK of me in this way!!

7:27

My boy Prongsy can describe women's clothing?

...Interesting

7:29

Who is this Remy?

And why don't I know here, Prongsy?

TELL ME RIGHT THIS SECOND!!!!!

Only, you can't.

Because this is a diary.

I'M OFF TO FIND PRONGSY, DIARY!!!

TELL HIM I CAME!!!

'Mini Marauderette in Training'??? What is Prongs thinking? I thought as I swiftly walked down the stairs. This has to be a joke. I mean, I know what MY jokes sound like. Most of them are funny and all, but this is not even MILDLY amusing. A new marauder? A GIRL marauder??? I don't think so. The Marauders are a BOYS ONLY group. You know, the whole Boys Only: No Girls ALLOWED tree house we all as young men used to have.

No little brunette chick wearing oxford shirts is going to break us up because Prongsy said so.

These are my mates.

MINE!

We've gotta vote on this like civilized human beings. Take THAT, Miss-Let's-Steal-A-Group's-Manhood.

I sigh as I turn the corner. Being all gloomy and slightly angry does not suit my personality here at Hoggy Warty Hogwarts. It takes a LOT of people by surprise, Let me tell you, Minnie FREAKED. I was striding down the transfiguration hallway, and she looked at me with the are-you-going-to-drop-a -water-balloon-on-my-head-now-or-later face.

"Hello, Professor." I said hurriedly.

"...Pro..Pro.." McGonagall said, having trouble forming words. "..ProFESSOR?"

But, sadly, I do NOT have time for this little talk.

"What?" I said, raising my eyebrow. "You got demoted?"

Minnie looked shocked and kind of angry.

Couldn't IMAGINE why.

"WELL!!" She said, huffing. "5 points for your outstanding morning attitude."

I didn't even give her a normal response. Well, normal for ME, anyway.

The only thing on my mind is getting to Prongsy as Fast as humanly possible. I practically ran over a few second years on the way to the Great Hall on those last floors. Who cares, really? They can grow those few inches back.

Ah, FINALLY! Those doors!

I grabbed the handles, and threw them open with as much force as I could without using magic. This method, is surprisingly successful, since everyone is watching me warily when the doors make this really big BANG sound.

Good.

I WANT them watching.

This little girlie isn't breaking up MY-

Good, Merlin.

Is THAT her?

That little brownie sitting across from Moony?

In _**MY**_ seat?

Well.

She does have a fine set of legs on her, but..

Those legs aren't sitting in MY seat.

Yeppers, blondie slytherin boy.

You BETTER move out of the way.

I take the seat next to Prongs, and start piling waffles on my plate. Everyone in the entire place is staring in our direction, watching for a blowout. Well, if that's what they _want_, I'm not giving it to them. This is personal marauder business and I'm not going to blab. Moony is staring at me with a bored interest, one eyebrow raised as if to say 'Spit it Out now, before you blow'. Peter looks all confused and slightly scared, but he always looks like that, so it's not much of a difference. Prongs is simply staring, waiting. I just look up as if to say 'Drop it' and pick up my fork, stuffing waffle in my face. _She,_ however, is completely quiet and continues eating without even looking up. The rest of the group doesn't buy my look and starts to ask me questions. Moony, naturally, is first.

"Okay, Padfoot. What is it this time?" Moony says tiredly. "We didn't wake you this morning because you decided to kick anyone who tried within a five foot radius. Besides, there_ is_ plenty of waffles."

I dropped my fork with an audible clang.

"No Moony." I said, snippy. "It's not _the waffles._"

"Then, what?" Prongs says.

I simply stare at brownie. She, surprisingly, does not notice.

Dang.

It would've been more dramatic. Oh, well. Prongs takes the bait, anyway.

"OH! Sorry, Padfoot." He says apologetically. "This is Remy."

"Remy? What's that short for?" I say, glaring at her.

Remy finally looks up at me with her big blue eyes through her eyelashes.

Well, she is stunning, but not enough to make me blubber like a fish. I'm a MAN.

"It isn't short for Anything." She says, narrowing her eyes.

"Really?" I say, not backing down.

"Yes, Really." Ah, I see she's not backing down either. What a feisty one. Nothing I can't handle.

"Not Rebecca?"

"No."

"Remelinda?"

"Ew." She says, frowning and staring me down.

Well, two can play at that game, sister.

"Okay, then." I pause.

"Got a last name there, Zippy?"

"Nope."

"What? Don't toy with me, Sugar." I say, in a warning tone.

By now, we're both leaning in towards the center of the table, staring each other with a mutual dislike.

"Padfoot, What is Wrong with you?" Prongs says, annoyed.

"Nothing, Prongs. I just don't see why she is sitting here without my permission." I say, purposely testing his patience.

"_Excuse me_?" He is angry now.

Good.

I don't like to provoke Prongs often, but he can't keep bringing strays here.

"You heard me. I said- "

"ENOUGH." Moony says, wide awake now. He turns to Remy, that harpy, looking sympathetic.

"I'm sorry, Remy. We're not usually like this."

She sits back up, slightly startled, as if breaking out of a trance. With a small smile on her face, she turns to Moony.

"It's okay, Remus. This is nothing new." Remy stands and gathers her things. "I'll see you in Arithmacy?"

Moony smiles. Why is Moony smiling at the enemy?

"Of course." He says, with that odd smile that doesn't reach his eyes.

Uh, oh.

I should run.

NOW.

Remy walks slowly out of the hall. Before she reaches the door, she stops.

"Moone." She says slowly, turning to look at me.

"Astronomy nut, are you?" I say. I couldn't resist one last retort. Besides, I'm as good as dead now, anyway.

"No. It's _Zippy's _last name." She says grinning.

Checkmate.

Goblin Fingers.

She got the last word. Now that's not fair.

It's remarkable, really. How Moony can tell when the subject of an argument is _just_ out of hearing range before he attacks.

It's a skill, really.

"Padfoot, you have about 60 _seconds_ to explain what the hell your problem is" Moony says in his do-or-die voice.

"Why don't you ask Prongs, Moony?" I say sulkily. "He's the one with the problem."

Prongs swallows his goblet of pumpkin juice and looks at me strangely.

"I'm sorry, but What?" He says, confused. "How is this _my_ problem now? You're the one who went all Morgan La Fay."

"Psh. I did not."

"Uh, yes. You did, Padfoot."

I'm not putting up with the pointless arguing today. I am DEPRESSED, here!!

Does No One care?

"Prongs, honestly." I say, sarcastically. "This is not about the Morgan La Fay-ing. It's about your little initiation of the Remy."

"Oh. Well, all I did was offer for her to sit with us at the table." Prongs said, evenly. "She eats in the kitchens everyday, for Merlin's sake. That's just sad."

"So she's not a-What was that?" I pause as if thinking. "Mini Marauderette in TRAINING?!?!"

Moony chokes on his strudel.

"Wha-a-aa-t!?!?" He says. Original, Moony. "What in Merlin's name is that?"

"It's what Remy is, Moony. Keep up, furry." I say, raising my eyebrows.

Did Prongs not say anything yet?

...Oh.

Whoopsie.

Moony just glares at me.

"I don't remember saying that..." Prongs ponders. "Unless I-"

He completely freezes.

Ah-HAH. And Bingo was his Name-o.

"That was in my Diar-JOURNAL, Padfoot." He says, fuming. "You read my private thoughts!!!"

Prongs squirms about in his seat a little.

"Moony!!!" He wails after a minute. "Isn't that a violation of my wizarding RIGHTS?!?!?"

"Uh, No." Moony says, finishing his strudel. "You'd have told us all of it, anyway."

"Indeed." Pipes in Peter. Odd boy, I forgot he was here.

"...Oh." Prongs looks befuddled. "Not ALL of them."

"Fine." I say. "But, MMIT!??! What were you thinking!??!"

Now Moony looks befuddled.

"MMIT?"

"Mini Marauderette in Training. Keep UP, Furry!!" I say, mildly annoyed.

Moony responds by whacking me in the head with his goblet.

Ow.

"I happen to like Remy. She is a good conversationalist." Moony says, glaring at me. "When you don't go insulting her name."

"I wonder why she was eating in kitchens all the time." Prongs ponders.

"I heard a rumor a while back about someone sounding like her and Lucius, but I could be wrong..." Wormtail says quietly.

"Well, I HATE HER!!" I screech, slamming my fists down on the table. Several trays down, a few third years glance at me nerviously, as if I'd come over and pummel them to the ground.

Hehehe.

The Power.

"You are being completely absurd."Moony remarks.

"I second that." Prongs says defiantly.

This is horrid.

My best mates are going against me over a girl.

Isn't there a friendship rule against this?

"She's not that bad, Padfoot." Prongs adds as an afterthought. "Plus, she seems to have been through a lot. We should let her hang with us for a while until she gets back on track."

Moony looks at him strangely, then grins.

"I second _that_." He says, grinning. "But, won't this supposedly make Lily jealous?"

"SHHHHHH!!!!!!" Prongs frantically shushes Moony.

I hesitate.

Maybe...

If she is just here as an Evans anger tool...

MAYBE.

"I'll..._tolerate_ her." I say, sulkily. "But have her STAY OUT OF MY SEAT!!!"

"Deal." Prongs says, smiling.

"Deal." Moony repeats, looking at me oddly, as if wanting to kick me out of my chair.

"Um...Deal?" Wormtail says, being , well, Wormtail.

Muahahahahaha.

She's all yours, Evans.

I smirk evilly and get back to my waffles.

Now THIS is a compromise I can deal with.

Watch out, Remy(HARPY!!!), You've got me and Evans to deal with now.

Bring on the torture.


End file.
